12 Surprising Life Lessons from Stoic Philosophy

Explore how Stoicism, an ancient philosophy developed by the Ancient Greeks and adapted by the Romans, can help you deal with the vicissitudes of life, while retaining inner peace and harmony. This blog offers up 12 timeless lessons – infused with insights from contemporary psychology – that help you master your feelings and life’s challenges.

Overwhelmed by Life

Life can sometimes seem traumatic. It’s hard to escape the cacophony of opinions, noises and demands that seem to swirl about us at every turn. We feel pressure to be up-to-date on every subject, ready to argue both sides of every case, and then to tire ourselves out.

It’s key then to concentrate on what matters. As you narrow in on what you truly value, then you cut through the clamour. Embracing the freedom to choose where to spend your mental currency can actually lighten your load.

What is Stoicism?

Stoicism is not just an ancient school of philosophy, it is a practical way of living that prepares you to face challenges with resilience. The Stoics were no different from us: Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca dealt with their own traumas and uncertainties, and yet they discovered ideas that are as pertinent to us today as to them.

This means orienting yourself only towards what you can do something about, and accepting what you cannot. Gradually, stoicism promises you will cultivate forbearance, equipping you with an inner sense of calm. Stoicism encourages you to live with purpose, reminding you that your responses to events are – and always will be – far more significant than the events themselves.

You Don’t Have to Have an Opinion on Everything

Stoicism offers an alternative to a world in which it is far too easy to feel obliged to have a view on even the most absurd questions of the day. You don’t have to weigh in on everything. Pick your spots.

This way, you save your precious mental energy for things that actually affect your life. So just tell yourself: ‘I don’t have a view. Who cares?’ And let the noise seep right past.

Control Your Peace of Mind

Epictetus used to tell his students that the source of our distress is often not in external circumstances, but in our reactions to them. Since you can’t control the world, you must instead control the only thing you can: how you react to it.

Whether you believe in being positive, or that suffering has a purpose and you need to find the spiritual meaning behind it, or if you’re raising your children with religion, or if you’re an atheist, there’s always something to learn. We get to choose each day how we’re going to view the challenges in front of us. Instead of asking ‘Why me?’ you can say: ‘How can I choose to see this?’

Building Resilience Through Challenges

Resilience doesn’t mean avoiding difficulties; it requires leaning into them. The Stoics viewed hardship as the necessary ingredients of personal development. Every obstacle you face is a training ground for your character.

What you can do is respond to setbacks with the question: ‘What can I learn from this?’ Rather than succumbing to a sense of failure, you find ways to go over, around or through those bumps in the road. You learn to confront the inherent adversities and realities of life, even as they appear.

Finding Happiness Within

For many of us, the dream of happiness involves new circumstances – a new job, a new city, a new adventure. But Stoicism teaches us that happiness is something you carry with you, not something that’s bestowed upon you by your circumstances. You won’t be happy because of where you live, because of what you do or because of who’s in your life – it begins within you, as a state of mind and character.

Just take care of your inside. A little training with the basics such as appreciating and being grateful can help bring joy right here, right now. It is right in front of you, in your everyday experiences.

Understanding Others: People are Doing Their Best

It’s easy to cast judgment on other people when we observe their behaviour and hear their views. But Stoicism wants us to feel for others also – to appreciate that everyone is facing their own struggles and doing what they think is best based on how they see the world.

This shift from judgment to understanding gives way to compassion. When you recognise that people are doing the best that they can with the information they currently have, it can replace frustration with patience – and can lead to deeper connections.

Hope and Fear vs. Living in the Present

Both hope and fear are, on the Stoic view, distractions from attending attentively to the moment: if you were not overly invested in hope or fear, you wouldn’t invest them at all, and instead could attend to what the moment requires from you. You’ll better attune yourself to how to live now if you take action on what you can do about the things you care about, rather than wasting energy trying to prevent the future from unfolding as it will.

It cultivates calmness and clarity. When you are worrying about your future, ask yourself What can I do today that matters? This brings you back to the present and to your power to shape your future by exercising choices today.

The World Continues Without You

Life has a way of getting on with it, and that’s whether you feel like it or not. Marcus Aurelius wrote how it is good to consider that the world turns for everyone, that flesh rises and falls, that we’ve all been fed, that events run their course, and that no one can stop it. This can be a humbling and liberating thought.

You’re able to take your personal, psychological problems less seriously, if you realise that the mountains, the rivers and the forests will be here long after you’ve passed away. Your life is important, but it’s also part of a long process. So things like your future, your problems, your responsibilities, your desires – it’s not even your private property. You’re just keeping it for a while, so you ought to appreciate that it’s a gift.

Mindfulness: Living with Intention

Mindfulness is a practice, but there’s more to it than that. For the Stoics, you were called to live in accordance with nature. What does that mean? It means being fully attentive, paying close attention to your ongoing experience, to your thoughts, actions and feelings, knowing what you are choosing and what you are doing, and making these choices yourself.

When you are in the thick of it, stop and take a few gentle breaths. Notice what’s going on up there. Simply noticing, without labeling or judging, provides a little space, a gap, that allows you to be aware and act, rather than act reflexively.

Handling Criticism Gracefully

Sometimes, criticism hurts – but Stoicism urges us not to hurt back. If it’s true, we should embrace it. This could bring about a positive transformation. And if it’s not true, it’s not the end of the world. We can jettison it. Marcus Aurelius suggested: ‘Be not disgusted if he has spoken rightly against you, nor angry if he has spoken unjustly.

In this sense, it gives the power back to those who are on the receiving end of criticism; we might be feeling a sting but we could also take it as an opportunity for growth or self-improvement; or as merely one fleeting opinion among many others that won’t define who we are or what we’re about. This mental reframe will also help make us more resilient to external judgment.

Focus on What You Can Control

One of the central principles of Stoicism is to focus your attention on what is up to you, and not to worry about what happens outside your sphere of control. When you continually worry about things that are out of your hands, you undermine your ability to act meaningfully in the moment. When worrying about what the future holds, rather than focusing on the ‘unknown’, ask yourself what can you do today that prepares you for a better tomorrow.

This keeps you in the moment – the only place you have any power at all – and enables you to take charge of your future. Energy is concentrated at its highest point – don’t let it leak into useless channels. Bend the stick back to the present whenever your mind starts to wander off.

Bonus Insight: The Practice of Gratitude

One of the simplest techniques for maintaining a sense of equanimity is gratitude. The Stoics recommended thinking daily about the people, places, situations and things that make you happy, which by placing your attention on what you have rather than what you’re missing, has an almost narcotic effect.

At the end of the day, list three things that you are thankful for. On an ordinary day, with just a bit of intent, this exercise makes the day wonderful. On a bad day, it reminds you of the beauty that there is in your life. It creates an attitude of gratitude, and turns the ordinary into the extraordinary.

Conclusion

These lessons from the Stoics remind us that life doesn’t have to be nearly as complicated as it is – if you can focus on the things that matter, practice mindfulness, and keep things in perspective by practising gratitude. Each lesson urges you to find acceptance in the moment, and grace in your response. 1. Nature … is indifferent to individuals. 2. Your welfare is also indifferent to you. 3. All things are difficult before they are easy. 4. At the same time, nothing is burdensome which does not burden. 5. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. 6. What you fear to begin is, once begun, continued. 7. What you fear to continue is, once completed, done. 8. A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.

Which of these insights left the most impression on you? Think about how you might incorporate these principles into your own life in a way that will grant you a more fulfilling experience.

FAQ

• What is Stoicism? Stoicism is an ancient philosophy that teaches the development of self-control and fortitude as a means of overcoming destructive emotions.
• How can I practice mindfulness? Mindfulness can be practiced by paying attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment, often through meditation or conscious breathing.
• What should I do when I face criticism? Evaluate the criticism for truth, learn from it if applicable, and let go of what doesn’t serve you.
• Why is gratitude important? Gratitude helps shift your focus from what you lack to what you have, fostering a sense of peace and contentment.